Oona "Ariel" (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mermaiding) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
lazingroyalty2015-10-05 12:44 am
mermaiding) wrote in lazingroyalty2015-10-05 12:44 am
(no subject)
[Oona's life had never really had consistency before. Despite being a mermaid, she'd found herself compared to a cat more often than not, simply flitting around wherever she chose to go; she slept where she wanted, ate what she wanted, and the only real consistency was work and only because she couldn't avoid that (and even then she didn't have to come in if she didn't want to, so there was freedom and choice in that).
She likes to think it's just because of how she is. More likely it's a side effect of having her life so strictly monitored and scheduled from her time in human hands; having nothing like that now was more a rebellion, a stubborn refusal to return to that.
Which is why it hits her as so strange when she acknowledges that she's chosen to spend more time at Adolf's place than her other friends' now. That she's started keeping things at his place, not quite moving in entirely but there are certain things that are without a doubt hers', and not simply borrowed. Things that don't leave when she does, like they normally did. Clothes, a few thing sin the kitchen. A mug that was almost assuredly "hers'" by now. Shampoo and other toiletries in his bathroom. The decorations and knickknacks she bought at random, furniture she brought to make the place look less like some basic militant-style place to sleep and more like, well. A home.
That realization, too, that she considered this a home is startling. Where were these thoughts coming from? It wasn't as though Oona was stupid-- brash and horribly impulsive, yes, but even she had her moments of quiet reflection and deeper thoughts. She just didn't quite indulge in them often, because it usually turned into things like this, making revelations about herself she wasn't sure she was comfortable with.
She sighs and steps out of the shower, rolling stiff shoulders as she pulls her hair up into a ponytail. Her work has her sliding into his house at all hours, though for once she was actually in at a decent time (she hadn't even bothered to go to work today was why, honestly). It didn't stop her from changing into more comfortable clothes.
Her gaze slid to one of Adolf's shirts, pilfered from his closet on her way. She had her own pajamas, of course, but they were mostly untouched despite any efforts on Adolf's part. He'd even tried just giving her the shirts she'd taken, but she'd only laughed and tossed them in his dirty clothes at the end of the day and took a fresh one again ("It smells like you, I like it" she'd said once and Adolf's face had done a funny twitch before his hand was covering it and he was walking away, Oona's laughter trailing after him for a little longer than was probably necessary).
She was too damn fond of that eel.
His shirt pulled over her head (she was practically swimming in it and something about that always put her in a much more chipper mood, and she even put underwear on just for him because otherwise he probably would be very opposed to her climbing on his lap anytime soon. Oona chose her battles wisely and this was one she had given up on fighting), she deliberately avoided glancing in the bathroom mirror before she exited to go search out her eel.]
Do you think it is strange? [it's the first thing she says when she finds him. What a good way to start a conversation, right in the middle.]
She likes to think it's just because of how she is. More likely it's a side effect of having her life so strictly monitored and scheduled from her time in human hands; having nothing like that now was more a rebellion, a stubborn refusal to return to that.
Which is why it hits her as so strange when she acknowledges that she's chosen to spend more time at Adolf's place than her other friends' now. That she's started keeping things at his place, not quite moving in entirely but there are certain things that are without a doubt hers', and not simply borrowed. Things that don't leave when she does, like they normally did. Clothes, a few thing sin the kitchen. A mug that was almost assuredly "hers'" by now. Shampoo and other toiletries in his bathroom. The decorations and knickknacks she bought at random, furniture she brought to make the place look less like some basic militant-style place to sleep and more like, well. A home.
That realization, too, that she considered this a home is startling. Where were these thoughts coming from? It wasn't as though Oona was stupid-- brash and horribly impulsive, yes, but even she had her moments of quiet reflection and deeper thoughts. She just didn't quite indulge in them often, because it usually turned into things like this, making revelations about herself she wasn't sure she was comfortable with.
She sighs and steps out of the shower, rolling stiff shoulders as she pulls her hair up into a ponytail. Her work has her sliding into his house at all hours, though for once she was actually in at a decent time (she hadn't even bothered to go to work today was why, honestly). It didn't stop her from changing into more comfortable clothes.
Her gaze slid to one of Adolf's shirts, pilfered from his closet on her way. She had her own pajamas, of course, but they were mostly untouched despite any efforts on Adolf's part. He'd even tried just giving her the shirts she'd taken, but she'd only laughed and tossed them in his dirty clothes at the end of the day and took a fresh one again ("It smells like you, I like it" she'd said once and Adolf's face had done a funny twitch before his hand was covering it and he was walking away, Oona's laughter trailing after him for a little longer than was probably necessary).
She was too damn fond of that eel.
His shirt pulled over her head (she was practically swimming in it and something about that always put her in a much more chipper mood, and she even put underwear on just for him because otherwise he probably would be very opposed to her climbing on his lap anytime soon. Oona chose her battles wisely and this was one she had given up on fighting), she deliberately avoided glancing in the bathroom mirror before she exited to go search out her eel.]
Do you think it is strange? [it's the first thing she says when she finds him. What a good way to start a conversation, right in the middle.]
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He does this and immediately wants to leave his apartment afterwards, but ah. He'd have to go through the living room, and Oona won't let him escape so easily, he imagines.
So. After plating the cake and picking up utensils, he silently— the operative word— meanders over to where Oona is watching what is unmistakably...a horror movie. Is this her idea of 'something good'... like her taste in questionably cute underwater friends, he sometimes wonders about Oona's standards. ]
What are you watching.
[ He asks, completely out of the blue, looming over her shoulder with his cake like a serial killer eel. ]
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The woman on the screen looks over her shoulder, biting her lip in unease. Finally she seemed to have clued in that something not right was going on, though for whatever reason she's neglected to turn on the lights in her own house?? Humans were so stupid why. The camera flashes back and forth-- the woman opening the door to her bedroom. The killer hidden somewhere. The flash of a knife. The woman easing her way over to her closet...
The closet opens and out pops the woman's cat, making Oona jump and then sigh in relief-- Only to immediately scream as Adolf speaks. And with her body pitched forward as it is and her knees pulled up, Oona tumbles headfirst over the couch.
She's beauty and she's grace...
Goodbye cruel world.] You-- Stupid! What are you doing!? Make noise! [Why must she love a german ninja eel?? How did her life come to this!?]
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Those are practical things to think about, but they aren't the main concern. The main concern is that Oona's looking up at him from the floor, a patch of her forehead red from where she's made contact with carpet.
An exhale, and Adolf sets the cake down to crouch down next to the fallen figure, lanky limbs folded and one hand extended for Oona to take if she wants. Needs, more like. ]
This is my apartment.
[ Is the simple reminder, as he reaches to sweep mussed hair out of Oona's eyes. ]
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Wear a bell!
[The most natural solution, obviously. She takes the offered hand and pouts, huffing indignantly. It was embarrassing, but come on! Anyone would be startled by someone sneaking up like that! Though probably not to the point of actually toppling out of their seat...
Her eyes go to the cake, her sulking momentarily waylaid by food (always a good distraction tactic for her, honestly).] ...A cake? [Okay, it's hard to even pretend to stay mad when he's brought her cake, but she at least makes an attempt to play hard-to-get with it.] It is nice color.
[A+ color instincts, Adolf.]
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[ That would be Oona, hope this helps. But no, he's putting two and two together and realizing that he isfairly good at showing up silently. It would be better for the both of them, he figures, if he announces himself— at the very least, when Oona is watching horror movies.
Speaking of. The woman on-screen is now being chased by a killer wearing something that looks like a mask made out of human skin. Lovely. ]
...Not exactly a color that matches with what you're watching.
[ Maybe he should have gone for blood-red, huh. He hands Oona a napkin, then two. ]
If you're so afraid, stop watching it. [ She did just fall off the couch?! ]
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It is still pretty color. I like it. Also, did not mean to start watching it. It was on, and I was curious. Then, just kept watching... [She got kind of sucked into the story okay. She spares a glance at the screen and tilts her head]
She is going to die. How stupid. We do not have to keep watching, these things end the same.
[Oona reaches for the remote and then eyes Adolf, her eyes going from him to the couch and back again expectantly. Aka sit down so i can take my rightful seat in your lap. Her eyes then go back to the tv as she starts flipping channels again.]
What do you want to watch? [If he doesn't have a preference she's probably just going to put it on a nature documentary. It's too late for soap operas-- Adolf escapes them, this time...
Besides she's mostly just killing time until he gives her the go-ahead to start eating cake. Priorities.]
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She's waiting for him to sit down— that's sweet.
Adolf rarely smiles, but Oona may be able to tell that his eyes soften just a fraction as he moves to settle down on the couch next to her, or maybe she misses it during her channel-flipping. His jaw relaxes, easy to tell because half of it is exposed. ]
...I'll watch you watching.
[ That slips out before he can catch himself, a moment of honesty in that barrier of distance he puts up for protection. It's a rare moment of candidness, and he regrets it, because...well.
Ah. ]
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Or, at least, that's the plan. She gets about halfway, straddling his leg, hands resting on his shoulders for balance, when he speaks. While the softening of his eyes had been lost on her, the relaxing of his jaw certainly isn't--especially since he doesn't bother to hide behind a collar or scarf anymore. It's especially prevalent now, though, since their faces are so close together.
The admission is a surprising one and Oona stares wide-eyed before the blush begins from the tips of her ears and down the sides of her face.]
Stupid... [An oft-uttered word, but this time it's said with much more adoration, her gaze averting to the side.] I am not so interesting to watch.
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The wall remains a wall, and Oona remains Oona. The only difference from the usual is that she's blushing, and Adolf confirms that by brushing his knuckles along the side of her cheek to feel the warmth spreading there. ]
Well. [ He's buying time, browsing through his limited lexicon for something that's appropriate. Maybe he's thinking too much. ] I'm never bored, when I'm watching you.
[ Smooth... but no, he's being as honest as he can. A long sigh, and he pulls Oona forward to settle her face in the crook of his neck. ]
You said that it isn't difficulty to talk to me, even if I don't say much. [ Which is something he remembers, because he keeps a lot of things to hearts despite pretending that he doesn't. ] The same goes for me. You don't have to do much for me to be interested.
[ Regrets, he has a few. ]
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She wets her bottom lip searching for something to say. Her vocabulary isn't so limited anymore, but even still it doesn't hold the words she wants to convey-- everything. If they were in the sea, she's weave ocean flowers in his hair and ask his mother and oldest sister's permission, or maybe she'd go the old fashioned way and just kidnap him, fight an older sister for him. Maybe there'd be some biting involved. Maybe she'd sing.
But this is human (courtship? Could she call it that?) and she is clumsy. Her fingers release and clench at his shirt again. It isn't difficult to talk to him, but now it sure seems to be.
She allows herself to be drawn forward, pressing her cheek comfortably against his shoulder, breathing softly against his neck.]
Are you saying you are interested? [Because he couldn't leave bait out like that and not expect Oona to take it. Her tone is low and teasing, but she wishes she could follow it up with something more. Despite the earlier disclaimer--no kisses, bah!--Oona presses a kiss to his neck before nuzzling close like the cat he oft compared her to. Despite the slight pressure of tension that seems to hang in the air, she's quite comfortable.
Not that that's very surprising either, she supposes. She's always been comfortable around Adolf, even if right now she half-fears he might be able to feel her own pounding heart through her chest.]
I will do my best to make sure you never tire of me, though I suppose it would be hard to do so otherwise. Suppose I cause trouble. [But her tone is amused rather than petulant--she's completely aware that she causes him troubles in nearly all aspects of life. Mostly because, well, people don't take kindly to Oona's brand of brash honesty and working at a strip club doesn't really call in the nicest of clientele sometimes. But hey, it always worked out in the end, right??]
Little bit of trouble.
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He breathes into Oona's hair, closes his eyes and stops his heart from beating around the dull metal embedded in his chest, tries to forget the weight of his wedding band still hung around his neck.
He still cares— he always has, he always will.
But he cares about this weight too, this small warmth curled around him and persisting despite everything he tells her. He has no way of knowing if he's on borrowed time, if this is going to last, but for now—
—he'll try to preserve it, as best he can. ]
When don't you cause trouble.
[ Carefully sidestepping the question about interest, though the embrace should speak volumes. Because his arms have...somehow found themselves loosely around Oona's waist, to keep her in place. ]
It's why I always have to keep an eye on you.
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Thinking about those things only made her heart ache and an uneasy feeling settle, so she pushes the thoughts away immediately. Right now, those things didn't matter, they could cross that bridge when they came to it; focusing on the here and now was much more pleasant in Oona's humble opinion.]
But you have fun! [May...be... Well it keeps him on his toes, right?] As you said, you are never bored! Hmm, besides, it would be more-- ominous if things got too quiet! [Like when you have a kid or a pet and the house goes quiet, you know they're up to something much worse than previous messes.
Another laugh, her teasing tone going full-force] Ahh, is that so? And here I thought it was because I was so pretty, you could not keep eyes off of me. Or the way I moved, or something like that.
[Even as he dances around answering her questions directly, Oona can't say she minds. She's always been someone who valued actions over words, which is why she presses another light kiss against his pulse, humming contently at the reminder that he's real and alive and god, how did she get so lucky here?]
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A part of him apologizes for what he's doing. Sorry, is what he repeats over and over in his mind, as if acknowledging can make it less punishable.
One hand on Oona's back traces back up the length of her spine, travels along that curve to settle between her shoulderblades. The way his fingertips vibrate when she laughs reminds him of the rumble of thunder. ]
...Yeah. That too.
[ What are you even doing, you stupid eel... aka here it is, after 500 years of tsun, the one second of dere. ]
But you already know you're beautiful, so it's not much of a compliment.
[ Let's try to pass this off as an insult...maybe that will make this less embarrassing. ]
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Oh. [A soft noise of surprise as he agrees-- he's been surprising her a lot tonight, but she can't say she minds at all. With a slight shift she sits back and up, hands sliding to balance briefly on his shoulders. His shirt rises high on her thighs, Oona suddenly very aware of every movement and placement of their bodies in relation to each other.]
Yes, that is true. And many people tell me so. [Blunt, as ever.] But, it is not the same as when you tell me so. It is easy to throw pretty words around and not mean them, or to try and get something form the person you are saying them to.
You do not say these things lightly, so I know you mean them. And I do not lie, so when I say you are handsome... [Oona smiles, her hands moving to gently cup his face.] I like your eyes, Adolf. You hair and your scars... Ah, but, what I like most, is that you care. You try so hard to hide it, but I know. You are beautiful to me too, inside and out. [It's all said softly, carefully, as she does when she wants to make sure she is understood clearly. Perhaps he wouldn't appreciate being called 'beautiful,' and while she's made passing comments about how attractive she's found him before, it perhaps didn't have this level of seriousness behind it.
She looks away a moment, feeling a little embarrassed about it.] Hmm, I am saying strange things again, yes? I do not enjoy using words so much in these moments. [Which is thankfully easily rectified, since she then turns back to him and presses their mouths together, forgoing the 'no kisses' clause completely. The press of her body to his, the sheer adoration she pours into the kiss, is surely enough to get her meaning across when her words fail her]
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Being passive is his second loophole, a secondary backup plan to assuage his stinging heart. It's the escape route he should take but foolishly decides to ignore, ruins with a curl of his fingers around the back of Oona's neck to gently draw her in closer. He takes care not to bump her cheek with the cold metal of his jaw implants, nudges her chin up just another millimeter so he can pry her lips open with his and taste her breathing.
When he pulls back, he keeps his eyes closed. Mostly so he can remember to breathe; one human function at a time. ]
Yeah. This is all pretty strange.
[ And when he exhales, it's something that borders on a laugh. A real, genuine one. He opens his mouth again after that, but it's only to speak in German: ]
You'll be the death of me.
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His laugh-sigh makes her shiver again and ah, she is drowning, truly. She had never feared drowning before and certainly didn't now, but this was possibly the closest she came to understanding what it must be like, to have this wave of affection crashing over her and making it difficult to breathe.
The German is a surprise, partly because she doesn't understand and partly because the rumble of the words, the syllables, is pleasant to her ears. She hadn't heard him speak it much, hadn't bothered to teach herself any (and maybe, she thinks, she should if he's going to be a cheat like that), but it makes her pull back some to examine his face.]
That was your language-- German, yes? I like how it sounds on your lips. [She moves forward quickly, a little peck on his lips, and she adds cheekily:] And how it tastes. [And she laughs again, because it's silly and she knows it but that, too, comes with the delirious spell she seems to have fallen under.]
Strange, you said... Yes, perhaps, a little. But we are strange people, so it works for us. [Oona leans forward to rest her forehead against his, her voice lowering to a whisper, as if this was some secret she didn't want anyone to potentially overhear.]
I want to stay here, with you. As long as I am able, until you grow tired or too annoyed of me. [But there's a smile, only half-joking about that part.] Or perhaps, even beyond that. It is dangerous, Adolf... I do not know if I will want to let go of you if you indulge me too much.
I want you, I want this... ['This' being whatever it was between them they had right now, that she wasn't sure she could put a name to, not in English anyhow] I am selfish, you know. Terribly so.
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He makes peace with that notion. These things have always been out of his hands.
Green eyes remain closed, in reflection or in cowardice, that's debatable. When they finally open, his gaze casts down to the indistinguishable shadow his bangs cast over his own face before it lifts to fix itself on Oona's big blues. Sinking is a good word to describe how looking at her makes him feel— submerged. ]
I know.
[ About her selfishness, which he finds infuriatingly endearing. He would have done anything for Rosa too, loved when she asked things of him, when she made him feel like he had things to give. That's a feeling that persists, a prevailing need to fulfill that one wish his mother had for him all those years ago.
His big hands cup Oona's face, keep her close as he inhales, exhales. ]
You should know by now that I won't tell you to leave. [ A beat, and he appends: ] 'Can't'. [ Because he feels like he owes it to her to be honest, on that front. ] Humans are weak, that way.
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Her hands move up to lay over the hands that cup her face. He won't--can't--tell her to leave. The anchor has finally been dropped, a ship come to port at long last. She had thought about how she might feel on this sort of occasion before, and had met it with uncertainty. But now... There was no hesitation. There was no jittery anxiety telling her to flee; all she wanted was to sink in and accept this as inevitable. It wasn't 'enough,' now, it was 'just right.'
I like you, Adolf. [But then she pauses, hesitates.] Ah... No. I told you I do not lie. I do not like you. [Her smile turns sheepish and surprisingly shy, sweet, and she averts her gaze as best she can when their faces are so close. Her face turns warm beneath his hands, her heart thudding in her chest again]
I... love you. [She liked many people, but this certainly went beyond that. Perhaps 'love' was a little too strong a word. Perhaps all of her romantic inclinations hadn't been totally squashed by life (if her over-fondness of soap operas and romance novels was any indication), but there was a sense of 'yes that's the right word to describe this' when she said it as her shoulders relax. Being honest was always a bit cathartic.]
Yes, that is the word I want to use. I can not say 'like' anymore without it feeling strange. A lie on my tongue. I do not like you, it goes beyond that. [She glances at him and then away again] ...I love you. [A soft laugh and she smiles] Perhaps mermaids are weak that way too.
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It's ridiculous, really. ]
You say that.... [ Which sounds accusing, despite the level tone of his voice and the neutrality of his intentions. He knows what he's going to say is only going to make it worse, but he won't live this particular lie anymore, not just because it would be unfair to carry that deceit, but because Oona deserves better than for him to keep his eyes closed about it. ] ...But you'll still have to deal with the ring around my neck.
[ 'Sorry', is what he mouths, his jaw at a slant and his lips millimeters from Oona's again. This time, he's the one that closes the distance first, as if to assure that he's being honest, that this is him, for better or for worse. ]
I can't take it off. [ Not right now, not when those memories are still dear to him despite how things panned out. There's an apology that stings the corner of his words, leadens his quiet baritone. He compensates by pressing another kiss to the corner of Oona's mouth. ] Will you still let me care for you, despite that.
[ Because he'd like to, he'd like to protect her smile for however long he can. Acutely aware that his expressions range from 'nonexistent' to 'subtle at best', Adolf aims to look sincere— a lowering of his brows, accompanied by a firm— but not nervous— set of his jaw. ]
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She accepts the kisses, kissing him back briefly in an assurance that she's not rejecting him or that ring that served a reminder that she was certainly not the first. It wasn't a rejection, but Oona valued honesty, and would give Adolf nothing less than that-- but she had to take a moment to sort it out first, to find the right words.
It wasn't as though mermaids didn't share mates. Having multiple mermen under one mermaid was common, and while two mermaids sharing one male was fairly rarer-- Well, this wasn't the same situation. Rosa was, as far as Oona was concerned, dead and gone. Or at least, she had better hoped she stayed that way, because Oona certainly wasn't going to loosen her claws from Adolf now.
Did she mind? Did the ring really matter to her?] Stupid. [The affectionate little insult again. She tilts her head, a brush of lips against his own] I will, of course. Did you expect differently? Told you, did I not? I am selfish and will not let go.
I can be patient too, sometimes. Or, rather... I will be patient with you. [Because he's different, special.] I understand. I am not going to force you to throw it out, or move on before you are ready.
[If she thought of it more like a mourning period it was a little easier to understand, honestly, even if it wasn't wholly accurate. And who was she to begrudge him that recovery? She wasn't so childish that she would demand he toss it out and get over it already-- Again, she knew how deep his caring ran]
And, I do not expect you to say those words back to me so soon. You will when you are ready. Or you may never. It is alright. I do not value words as much anyhow. [Again, actions over words.]
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Stupid. That sounds about right.
[ Because he's terrible at saying goodbye, that's what it boils down to. It's childish, but a part of him is still 8 years old, one hand in his mother's hand and the other hooked to machines and wires. Arrested development is something they both have in common, however much they want to pretend it's not so or otherwise.
He cares for her, though— so much so that he realizes he hasn't thought about dying in a while, even after being wrenched from his chance to finally kick the bucket, even after being sent here. From one cage to another.
He cares enough that he acknowledges it, with words that he'd kept pent-up. ]
I won't make you be too patient. I know what it's like, waiting for something that won't come.
[ Feelings are hard; emotions are difficult. He settles back against the couch, tips his chin up to look at the ceiling. ]
...I won't put you through that. [ He doesn't want to hurt her, if he can. ] Let me practice it, before I can say it.
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I like when you admit I am right. [her tone is teasing again, in regards to the being stupid comment. He may be a dumb eel, but he's her dumb eel. She wants to say, "don't worry about it, just like this is enough" but she won't because it brings up that "enough" word that she's getting tired of saying.
Instead, her tone turns sly] Does this mean the 'no kissing' rule can be officially lifted? [not that she...ever really listened to it to begin with.... But still.]
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So what he does is sigh, and flick one of Oona's earlobes. ]
No. The rule will stay.
[ Wow?! #juststubborneelthings ]
—But only in public.
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Ahh, mean! So mean! [At least it means she can kiss him all she wants in private...]
Hmph! At least it is only in public... You can make up for it by spoiling me when we are alone. [AS IF HE DOESN'T ALREADY. She hums thoughtfully, pauses, and then suddenly laughs a little]
Ah, was just thinking I would have to be careful about marking you, in case others saw. Then remembered you wear high collars and things. So, I do not have to hold myself back. [Her grin is quick and wicked SORRY ABOUT YOUR LIFE, ADOLF except not. This is the path you chose.
Look at your life, look at your choices.]
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[ Is what he parrots, officially bemused for the second or two it takes for this information to sink in. What has he walked into with this relationship, he's sure he doesn't know.
A hand instinctively goes up to his neck, rests there as if to cover a mosquito bite. He's wary... ]
—What does that entail. Is that a mermaid ritual?
[ Here he was, thinking that all mermaids did were sing and swim... he couldn't have been more wrong, apparently. ]
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